Loving the Weeds and Knots

Cardamine- a Useful Weed

The majority of my posts are recipes or stories about... well, food. If I were to guess I would say at least half of my thoughts are devoted to eating, and 3/4 of my thoughts extend on the idea of 'food' by considering what feeds me/us/the world. It's not that I limit my image of humanity to consumption, it's just that I believe it is the largest driving force in the world around me. I don't pass moral judgement on consumption though; it is not a bad thing! It is largely productive!

While nutrition is what allows bodies to grow, I know that I am fed by so many things besides food. I consume love, knowledge, beauty, possessions, oil, water, positivity, energy... all these things feed me. There are also things that prevent from my personal growth; extending on the metaphor of feeding, these things "starve" me. What I'm talking about are the habits I keep that hold me back. Too much alcohol does this to me, as well as too much work. Forgetting the joy in my life and focussing on the tiny hardships like dirty floors or untrained employees limits my gaze to the negative so I get stuck in a stagnant pattern.

Rose in Knots

I've been trying to recognize the patterns and to feed myself the most nutritious things possible: good food, good love, good attitude. In order to put things in perspective, I have been working on my clown a lot these past three months. On July 16th, my "Deep Clown" class and I put on a show of great importance (to me) and laughter. I grappled with my knots, my pattern of taking 2 steps forward and one step back, and my over-arching optimism in order to surpass these obstacles. It was delightful to see myself this way, and to share with an audience a very personal yet relatable pattern of thought.

Despite how personally satisfying clowning has been for me, it was also hard to balance with working full-time. I overworked myself; my knees, especially, and am now dealing with patellafemoral syndrome.   My goal for the rest of the summer is to take what clowning has taught me: going where the joy is, while being happy with where I'm at. Also, I'm trying to maintain a relaxed rhythm so that I don't push my body so far. The weeds might get a little rowdy this summer because my knees can't bend, and that's ok with me. I've established that weeds (metaphorical and literal) can be beneficial as medicine and food.